With considerable assistance from our parents, we slowly began to tame all that polished wood. First Paula helped out with a generous coat of paint. Then we discovered a granite countertop in the barn that only needed a 6-ft cabinet to go with it, which Dad built. Next followed more cabinets from Dad that we managed to hang (which surprisingly haven't fallen yet!), a few more family painting days and we were a little bit closer.
And then the column came down and the island was removed. Fortunately it wasn't load bearing, but unfortunately there was nothing but sub-flooring underneath it. Dad's new island required some plywood underneath, and it was almost finished. Last touch went in yesterday--tiling the remaining footprint! I added some grout today for good measure, and we've got ourselves a totally new kitchen.
Much thanks to our indefatigable parents!