She Did It!

Maybe I'll just hit the highlights since I'm running on empty after a rather emotional day.  Myrick was up early, and seemed ready for the day.  She was clearly both excited and nervous.  Pastor Carol drove by and saw Nate, Myrick and me waiting at the bus stop and pulled over to snap a family photo of us and say a prayer for a good start to her schooling.  She was her silly, chatty self until the bus pulled into view.  Her little smile faded and she walked back up Rachelle's driveway several feet.  So I choked back my mommy tears, took her sweet hand, and walked her onto the bus.  She was quiet as I introduced her to the bus driver, but she sat down and started chatting right away with someone nearby; I don't even think she looked out the window as the bus pulled away.  The other adult on the bus that was checking off students as they got on gave me a thumbs-up sign through the window since by an act of God I managed not to cry in front of Myrick.  And though the temptation was strong, I didn't follow the bus in my car (and maybe only because Nate was at the helm).  I guess I'm glad I had to go to work so that my mind had something else to do all day; otherwise I'm sure I would've either cried most of the day or been one of the deranged parents peeking through the kindergarten windows!  I held it together in my classes just fine.  It was during planning period and lunch that those tears came back for a repeat performance.

I was able to leave school in plenty of time at the end of the day to get home to get her off the bus.  She came bounding off with her our two neighbor girls, and ran right to me.  We walked home through the blueberry bush paths, and at one point she asked me, "Mommy, why are you holding my hand so tight?"  Relief and joy that my baby made it home safely and looked happy about it all!!!!  We sat on the porch and had juice and cookies for a bit before going to pick up Pender.  She was exhausted, just sitting there quietly eating and drinking and not saying much.  When I'd ask a question about her day, I didn't get many details or much of a response - just a zoned out, tired, little kindergartner.  Tonight she fell right in bed without a fight, and so will I, shortly.  I am so proud to call Myrick my daughter.

Mush

Although I had a great first day at school with my students, I feel like a pile of mush right now.  I'm on the verge of tears just thinking about Myrick starting Kindergarten tomorrow.  As I tucked her into bed, she said to me, "Mommy, I'm not so sure I'm going to like Kindergarten."  I know she's a little nervous, too.  I asked her if she liked her new teacher (she visited Mrs. K's classroom a couple of times as a preschooler, and we've gone to two different visitation days in preparation for tomorrow, so she's not a stranger).  She said yes.  I asked her if she liked Michael and Jeffery (twin boys in her pre-K class that will also be in her new class), and she said yes.  So I told her that made three people who would be very excited and glad to see her tomorrow!  That seemed to help a little bit.  She woke up this morning at 3 a.m. and crawled in bed with me because she said she had a bad dream - very unusual for her.  I tucked her back in, and she went back to sleep just fine, but clearly her little brain is busy putting all of these new pieces together.

The best/worst part of my day was this morning's drop-off at Terri's.  Myrick had plans to be with Lally all day, and Pender was to go to Terri's by himself.  They hugged each other goodbye, but when Pender got up the steps and into her house, he let out a little whimper and said, "Where titer?"  Oh how my heart broke for him.  I choked back my own tears, but when I got back into the car, Myrick was waiting in the backseat with tears streaming down her face.  All she said was, "I miss Pender and Ms. Terri."  Ugh - three little broken hearts to start our day.  I didn't anticipate the morning going that way and was completely unprepared.  At least tomorrow I know not to wear make-up to school.  The sweetest moment, though, was when Myrick and Lally got back from their adventures, Myrick hopped out of the car and she and Pender ran to each other hugging.  Who could ask for more?  I know they won't always get along so well, so I will tuck that moment away in my heart.

Fingers crossed for a good night's sleep for all of us and a happy send-off for both of my babies in the morning.  Mommy-ing is the hardest job - much harder than teaching, I've decided.

Enjoying each other's company after a day apart.

Big sis helping Pender manage the sandbox digger.

Gratitude for a Treasure

Finding a daycare provider for Myrick five years ago was one of the most emotionally trying things I think I've had to do in my life.  I carried so much guilt in having to leave my child with another person to raise during the daytime - I truly felt like I was letting her down right out of the gate for not being there for her 100% of the time.  Five years and two kids later, I still wrestle with those feelings.  And at the beginning of every school year, I cry when I drop them off at Ms. Terri's house because I know the loss of time that is headed our way.  It breaks my heart again year after year.

But the one thing that has made it easier is Ms. Terri.  We are so blessed to have her in our family's life.  She is everything a care giver for young children should be.  She is enthusiastic and playful, firm when needed, patient, consistent, adventurous (like the night she hosted a sleepover in her camper for Myrick, Chloe, and Forrest!!) and above all, loving.  She has gently parented me, too; she'll let me know that Pender has been working on a skill that I haven't even bothered to try tackling at home and that now he can do it himself.  Good thing she's here to keep me on track and remind me that although I may want my kids to stay my babies, they're growing up and can do more for themselves than I sometimes let them.  I can't imagine that I'll ever be entirely rid of the guilt I feel, but leaving my kids with Terri is reassuring and calming, for all of us.

Today was officially Myrick's last day with Terri.  For the first time a few days ago she said she wasn't excited about Kindergarten.  Up until then she'd been all excitement and silliness over starting school this week.  When I asked her about it, she had some small tears and said she was sad that she wouldn't be going to Terri's anymore and that she would miss her.  My heart broke for her.  What a big concept for Myrick to understand and feel.  Aside from Nate and me, Terri has spent more time with Myrick than any other adult in her life.  She is lucky to have been cared for by Terri for the last five years.

Yesterday and today Terri spent time with Myrick teaching her some sewing basics (she is a talented seamstress and quilter), not the first time she's done so.  Myrick already has a beautiful pillow that she helped Terri piece and sew, and for the past two days she made an adorable "flirty skirt" with her.  Myrick will wear it to her first day of Kindergarten on Thursday, and we'll take another step forward as a growing family.

Stock in Kleenex

Well friends and family, the time has arrived... Myrick begins Kindergarten in only three more days.  The tears have already bubbled up a few times, and although I am a teacher in public schools, I found myself on the other side of the fence this evening at Back to School Night.  Myrick, Pender, Nate, and I went for 45 minutes to visit her classroom and meet some new classmates, and there I was, peppering the teacher and paras about how the bus routes worked, would they need transportation notes from me, what about naps and bathroom breaks, who would she eat lunch with, and again, how about that bus ride.  I am a nervous mommy who is going to need a whole box of tissues to get through this week.Those were some fast five years, let me tell you.

I only managed to snap one picture of her there tonight, standing in front of her cubby.

Before the Storm

Today marks the last Sunday of summer vacation.  While Nate is excited and even anxious to get back to school, I detest what it means for time with my family - less of it.  So although we've been working for a few days on easing back into a school schedule, I feel desperate to squeeze the last drops of summer out of our time together.  After naps today we embarked on a short canoe trip on our pond - small time adventures but with mostly happy kids today!

 Silly Mom, taken by Myrick

And to cap off the outing, from-scratch chocolate pudding!  It was so delicious that even Pender was coerced into trying a bite of noodles and sweet potatoes for another spoonful of it - WOW!

Just the Small Stuff

Nota Bene: I wrote this yesterday; my camera battery died, however, before I was able to publish... c'est la vie.

Today is just a random collection of photos that make up our summer days - just the small, everyday moments.

A tea party in the mud-room

Buses, trains, and trucks with Dad - love this one!

"Playing" a board game together - Myrick is not always flexible with the rules, but this time she got creative and played along with however Pender wanted to play with the game pieces.

And last but not least, my Small Fry, who always brings a smile to my face.

Superheroes Among Us

Well this photo was just begging to be shared.  In our efforts to help along a recent spate of bumpy bedtimes for both kids, we've decided that they will be outside from 4-5 pm each evening being active with the hopes that this will help expend their extra energy that I wish I could bottle for myself.  Tonight's driveway adventures included an appearance by "Super Biker".  She (I can't reveal her true identity) donned this get-up and boot-scooted all over the driveway.

And earlier today... snack on the shady picnic table.  Heaven.

AA Ball

We decided to catch a late summer Fisher Cats ball game this evening, and despite the kids both being a tad tired and trying, we had fun.  Myrick particularly enjoyed all of the crowd-rallying tactics - the hand clapping, foot stomping, loud music blasts; Pender, not so much.  He kept covering his ears saying "Too loud!" rather emphatically.  Might be fun to get season's tickets in the years ahead, when they're a couple of years older!

Mom and the zombies "watching" baseball

All Tuckered Out

Summertime joy: my kiddos playing at the lake to their hearts' content.  Sure wish I could bottle up this happiness (mine and theirs!) for a rainy day when the going gets tough.  We've had a beautifully mellow summer - just what the doctor ordered after a long school year.

Here Pender falls asleep in my lap at the lake.

Haircut Numero Dos

Pender had his first haircut back in April when we went down to SC, and really, it was so subtle that it only qualified as a trim.  I just couldn't bear to cut off his baby locks.  Still can't.  Hence the need for another cut-but-not-quite-a-cut.

Gettting ready...

Ta-da!  Kinda page-boy, huh?  So sweet, my little boy.

K Prep Joy

Lots a' preparing going on round these here parts to get ready for Miss Myrick's entry into kindergarten - exciting times!  I indulged and bought her a snazzy new lunch box kit (highly recommend planetbox, by the way) and a new and slightly bigger backpack.  Which of course means that Pender gets to take over the too-small-for-Myrick-but-much-beloved owl backpack.  Here, they model their carry-alls.

Again, here is Pender doing everything big sis does.

A Challenge

After reading my last post again, I decided it had a certain martyr-ish flavor about it - not my intention.  Don't get me wrong, being a full-time working mom is hard, but it's not without its fair share of daily joys.  I can easily say that I look back at those first five years of marriage to Nate with extreme fondness, but there is nothing I would change about my life today - especially having my kiddos.  So to keep those daily joys in the forefront of my mind (and to get me blogging a little more), I'll post at least one picture a day for the next month of the joyous moments that make up my days.  I often find myself, camera in hand, snapping away with the background thought, "Don't forget what this moment was like" - kind of a time capsule mentality with no real plan of what to do with those photos. 

Here are a few to kick off the challenge.

5 1/2 years old

2 1/2 years old

Admiring and playing with a caterpillar on the side of their pool.  Love that Pen just copies Myrick's every move, including her stance here!

It's Been Awhile...

So life ticks on here without my pausing to update.  As much as I love blogging and posting news here about our family, I have realized that my life currently exists as a series of trade-offs.  Either we can get to bed at a reasonable hour OR I can cook a homecooked meal and the kids eat a late dinner and don't get the sleep they need.  Either I can have a clean/neat/organized home OR I can spend that precious free time with my kids.  Either I can take my kids to our local lake OR I can prep for my classroom this year.  And so it goes.  I guess all of the trade-offs really come down to the most precious commodity I have: time.  And at the expense of most other things (having a social life, time to myself, exercise, sleep, etc.) I choose my kids and their well being.  I'm not complaining; despite wishing to have a few moments of energy left at the end of the day to sweep my kitchen floor, I know without any trace of doubt that those bits of energy were better spent reading bedtime stories to my kids or lingering over coffee while enjoying their bathtime antics together.

But it does mean that I also don't choose to spend my time writing about life; I'm thankful enough that I just get to live it.

So without further ado, here is a little catch-up for those of you who've noticed and remarked about my lapse in posting!  I always have high hopes and good intentions of posting more, so the best I can do is to promise to try.  Certainly there is no lack of events to post about: cousing camp 2012 right here in NH, a trip to Boise to see Kelly, our family trip to Michigan, and dozens of milestones that my kiddos make each day.

One of the most remarkable milestones that made me cry (not such a hard thing to do, really, when it comes to my kids growing up!) is Myrick losing her first tooth.  Can hardly believe it myself!  It was our last night in Michigan around the dinner table.  She wouldn't eat her dinner because she was worried it would fall out (she wanted Poppa to pull it!) but of course she was easily convinced to eat dessert - blueberry pie.  And so on her first bite, it fell right out!